How to deal with Riya and showoff in Islam? Part 1

Bismillah e rahmani raheem (In the name of Allah (swt) {God}, Most Gracious, Most Merciful)
Bismillah e rahmani raheem (In the name of Allah (swt) {God}, Most Gracious, Most Merciful)+

Assalam alaikum,

I got a question from one of our readers, while I did some research, I was surprised by such vast of information on this topic, which was very interesting. Before I go ahead, I would deeply like to thank that reader for this question, because of you, I got a chance to learn and teach to many other people In Sha’Allah.

Question: How to deal with Riya and showoff in Islam?

Since this is huge topic, I would like to discuss in depth and into parts.

Part 1: Riya

What is riya? Riya has many levels in Islam, but the broad definition could be considered as arrogance. Riya can come in many forms such as in our hearts, minds, verbal aspects, and actions.

Let us explore these aspects:

Hearts: When we win or do something and get praised, we often forget Allah (swt) helped us, and we believe that we achieved by ourselves. We not only forget our Creator, without His help we cannot achieve anything, but we also discredit our family members and our loved ones and leave them behind. We take all the credit and fame.

Minds: We tend to believe in ourselves after we achieve something. That’s “I tried” or “I did”, it becomes all about me, instead of Allah (swt). When we lose something or something goes bad, we say or blame Allah (swt) or family/friends, but never oneself.

Verbal Aspects: We start comparing ourselves to other people, especially people in Islamic history such as Caliphs, Sahabahs, Prophet (saw)’s wives, and Prophet (saw), and etc.

We should never compare ourselves with anyone, especially anyone from Prophet’s time or to Himself. Allah (swt) is the best in Knowledge, let Him be the judge. We can strive to be like them, but we can never be them or compare ourselves with them.

Actions: When hearts and minds become one thought, then automatically our actions follow that train of thought.

Advertisements

Part 2 — Dressing Hijab for Men

In my earlier posts, I had started the concept of Hijab is pretty huge, so in order for me to try to cover as much as possible, I would need to break into parts. In Part 1 — Dressing Hijab for Women, and in this Part 2 — Dressing Hijab, I would like to focus on men.

Many people and media, keep pointing hijab for women is oppressing (though there is no actual facts, besides minority women’s views), there is no mention at all on men and their hijab!

Hijab is NOT only for women, rather it is EQUALLY for both men and women.

Hijab for men:

  • Jubbas
Jubbas for men
Ankle-length garment, usually with long sleeves, and similar to a robe.
  • Galabiyyas
Galabiyas for men
Classic Islamic men’s wear
  • Modest Tops
descent tops men
For men, in Islam, must cover from the navel to the knee, private parts, and upper front/back body.
  • Kufis
Caps for men
In Islam, men too are highly advised to wear Kufis

Forbidden for men to wear:

  • Silk (100%)
  • Gold (fake or real)
  • Bracelets
  • Earrings
  • Anklets
  • Transparent clothes (tops/bottoms)
  • Any article of clothes/accessories that imitate women

Hate of Islam – Lets Follow Sunnah

Bismillah e rahmani raheem (In the name of Allah (swt) {God}, Most Gracious, Most Merciful)
Bismillah e rahmani raheem (In the name of Allah (swt) {God}, Most Gracious, Most Merciful)

I would like to eventually get into details about our Beloved Prophet Muhammed (SAW) and his life, but right now I would like to discuss our duty as Muslims.

I have started seeing our Prophet (SAW) being abused, verbally and online. It is important not to become judgmental, but let’s use work together to educate those individuals in the best way.

Let’s first remind ourselves, that our Prophet (SAW), the single most perfect man in history, had the following done to him

  • People physically assaulted him.
  • People threw stones at him.
  • People threw dirty intestines on him whilst he was praying.
  • People threw their dirty garbage on him
  • People abused him
  • People killed his loved ones
  • People tried to give him poison in his food
  • They laughed at him, Mocked at him
  • They made fun of Him
  • He lost His two teeth in the Battle of Uhd

Has someone ever thrown stones at you? Have you ever had dirty garbage thrown over your head? Yet somehow our aggressive reactions would lead someone to believe as if someone has actually done this?

So what is our end goal? It’s obviously to reach Jannah and the way to do this is to try to follow the life of our Prophet (SAW) If we try to study him, act like him, perform the Sunnah then we have a good chance of achieving our goal.

When someone insults Islam or our Prophet (SAW), or Allah (SWT), of course we all get deeply hurt, but what I witnessed a few days ago, was perhaps worse. A barrage of abuse from Muslims to the offenders swearing and insulting back. Did our Prophet (SAW) act like this? Of course not, so by acting in this way are we really defending our faith or weakening it? I feel we are weakening it, we are showing just how weak we can be.

Did our Prophet (SAW) lose such control? Engage in such filthy language? We all know certain people hate unconditionally, and in this case, it was a group of young teenagers who were spouting such hate, but we also know, or should know that many non Muslims respect Islam, respect Muslims, but when they see us defending our faith in such a violent aggressive manner, what must they think?

Once when the Prophet (SAW) was being physically abused in Taif, he was bleeding from having stones thrown at him, Angel Jibraeel (AS) came to him and said, “the Angels of the Mountains can crush these ignorant people between the mountains, should you wish O Muhammad (SAW).”

Bleeding from head to toe and battered and exhausted, the Prophet (SAW) was faced with a choice; should he or should he not seek to destroy the people who had just humiliated him (SAW) by having their children chase him (SAW) out of town while throwing stones at him (SAW)? And for what crime? All he (SAW) had wanted to do was convey the message of the Oneness of Allah (swt) to His creation and seek benefit his own people.

However, although they hurt him, Prophet Muhammad (SAW) looked beyond his own wounds and forgave them, replying to the Angel of the mountains he said,
‘No, do not destroy them, for I hope that Allah (SWT0 will bring out of their offspring people who worship Him (SWT) alone without associating any partner with Him (SWT) in worship.
What a beautiful excellent response. Look at the humility. The control of anger and hurt!

The way you respond to insults has an impact on the actual image of Islam. So lose this anger, lose the bad language and become an advert/role model for Islam. Ignore the ignorant who hate unconditionally, if someone criticises Islam and you feel you can have an intelligent conversation with them, then do so politely, they will think so differently of you, even if they don’t agree, they will respect the way you have conducted yourself.

You will promote Islam much more effectively this way if you control yourself.
That’s real faith.

Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says what means in the Quran,
“Hold to forgiveness; command what is right; but turn away from the ignorant”.

He subhanahu wa ta’ala also says what means,
“And when they hear vain talk, they turn away therefrom and say: ‘To us our deeds, and to you yours; peace be to you: we seek not the ignorant.’

Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said
“The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.”(Bukhari :: Book 8 :: Volume 73 :: Hadith 135)

Respect & Kindness — The Key to Success

We have come to a time, where many people don’t know or feel to be kind or respectful towards other human beings. No matter what our beliefs, religion, education, class, status, gender, wealth, and etc is, we still have a responsibility to be kind and respectful to another human being.

Sitting  behind a computer doesn’t change anything, we still have to be kind and respectful to each other. You may not agree to someone’s opinion, perspective, dress, and etc, yet you are still responsible as a human being to be kind and respectful

“There is a reward for kindness in every living thing”– Prophet Muhammad (SAW)

Part 1 — Dressing Hijab for Women

Hijab is a scarf that covers head and chest of women.

  • Scarf cannot be too tight, that an individual has hard time breathing/eating, and etc
  • Scarf cannot be transparent or see through
  • Scarf cannot be too short, that it shows ears, hairs, and neck (front and back)

Part 1—In order to do hijab, one HAS to be dressed modestly.

Modest meaning

HAS TO BE                     CANNOT BE

Loose fitting tops                    Cannot be transparent/see through/cannot be tight or revealing                    in any aspect/cannot be tight fitting

Loose fitting pants                  Cannot be transparent/see through/cannot be tight or revealing in                any aspect/cannot be tight fitting

Loose fitting skirts                  Cannot be transparent/see through/cannot be tight or revealing in                any aspect/cannot be tight fitting

Long sleeves                           Cannot be transparent/see through/cannot be tight or revealing                    in any aspect/cannot be tight fitting

No makeup/Light make up     Cannot be full of make up

Light perfume/fragrance          Cannot be heavy of fragrance

Clean or henna nails                Cannot use nail polish

Feet covered with socks/tights         Cannot show feet/ankles

Soundless shoes/low sound shoes     Cannot wear high heels that make loud sounds

Reality of Hijab Introduction

In today’s society, hijab is basically labeled as “women/religious oppression” or on flip side of it “fashion”  So what is the reality of Hijab? Many individuals are extremely confused and unfortunately have relied on media.

Let me try to clear and provide proper understanding. Hijab is not simply a cloth and only for women, it is more than just a head piece and hijab is equally (more so) for men. Let me illustrate and share some guidelines for both men and women.

Since hijab has so much in depth information, I am going to break into parts.

Hijab

“Hijab” Friendly Businesses and Organizations List

If you are a Muslimah or Non Muslim sister, who donned hijab for the sake of your belief/faith and is looking to work. I will be updating this post whenever I find any/all businesses/organizations hijab friendly.

  • Kohl’s —  Clothing department store.
  • Home Depot —  House Improvement store.
  • Dropbox — Cloud storage, file synchronization, personal cloud, and client software. (San Francisco, California)
  • Microsoft — Develops, manufactures, licenses, supports and sells computer software, consumer electronics and personal computers and services

***Please note

In USA, no company can discriminate you on the basis of hijab, but it does happen.

Religious Discrimination

Title VII of the 1964 Civil Rights Act prohibits religious discrimination by employers. Under this act, employers must make “reasonable accommodations” that allow employees to practice their religion if the practice is not disruptive. Allowing someone to miss two hours of work per day might be considered disruptive, but courts have ruled in favor of plaintiffs who wanted minor deviations from dress codes. Employees must demonstrate that they need the accommodation due to a sincerely held religious belief and that there is currently a conflict between the religious belief and work requirements.

What to Do

If your employer has asked you to stop wearing the hijab, send him a letter in writing documenting your request for a religious accommodation. Document any instances of discriminatory behavior or harassment, and remain calm. If your employer still insists on the removal of the hijab, contact the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, which often sues on behalf of workers. Consider hiring a lawyer to draft a strongly-worded letter to your employer, particularly if you don’t want to quit your job.

Retail Experience as Employee and Customer

I am not kind of person, who goes to shopping frequently, but of course we all have to go shopping. Yesterday, I went to shopping with my mom, in a nearby mall. Usually wherever I go, I am only hijabi, but yesterday Alhumdullillah I was met by two wonderful hijabi sisters!

One of the cashiers was hijabi and she was so patient with everyone. Finally my turn came and it was refreshing that stores such as Kohls was accepting diversity, Alhumdullillah. This sister was very nice and Alhumdullillah no one felt negative towards her.

I too work in a retail store with my hijab and Alhumdullillah no one has said anything. When people who say or assume that hijabi women are “limited” or “create fear” really need to check themselves.

I will try to list, which stores/businesses are “hijabi” friendly if you are looking to work (anywhere is USA). So far I have come across two, since I wasn’t actively looking until yesterday. Now that Alhumdullillah that I have this platform (Muslimah411 Blog), I will try to keep a lookout and keep you posted. If you see anything please comment and/or email me so we can highlight that for our hijabi sisters (Muslims and non Muslims).

The Lies of April or Kithbat Neesaan – How it reflects Islam

“April Fool” in Arabic, Kithbat Neesaan or “The Lies of April”

The origin of this lying is not known for sure. There are differing opinions concerning that:

  • It may have developed from the celebrations of spring at the equinox on March 21
  • This innovation appeared in France in 1564 CE, after the introduction of a new calendar, (when a person who had refused to accept the new calendar became the victim of some people who had subjected him to embarrassment and made fun of him, so he became a laughing-stock for others)
  • This celebration may go back to ancient times and the pagan celebrations connected to a specific date at the beginning of spring, so this is the remnant of pagan rituals. (It was said that hunting in some countries was unsuccessful during the first days of the hunt in some countries. This was the origin of these lies which are made up on the first day of April)

 Le poisson d’avril

Europeans call “April Fool” le poisson d’avril or “April fish”

The reasons for this tradition are several, but none can be considered accurate

  • The sun moves from the zodiacal house of “Pisces” to the next house
  • The word poisson, which means fish, is a distortion of the word passion, which means suffering
  • Symbol of the suffering endured by Isa (AS) (Jesus peace be upon him) [1]

Basic History or Incidences of April Fools Day

  • The first mention of April Fool in the English language was in a magazine known as Dreck Magazine. On the second day of April in 1698 CE, this magazine mentioned that a number of people were invited to come and watch the washing of black people in the Tower of London on the morning of the first day of April.
  • One of the most famous incidents that happened in Europe on April 1st was when the English newspaper, the Evening Star, announced in March 1746 CE that the following day – April 1st – that there would be an parade of donkeys in Islington, in England. The people rushed to see these animals and there was a huge crowd. They continued waiting  and when they got tired of waiting, they asked about when the parade would be. They did not find anything, then they knew that they had come to make an exhibition of themselves, as if they were the donkeys!

Present Time

Known as April Fools Day or All Fools Day

  • Cause of the lies that they tell so that those who hear them might believe them and thus become a victim for those who  are making fun of him

Islam Aspect

This is the law of Allah (swt) in which is wisdom and care for people’s circumstances.

And Allah (swt) is the Haqq [Truth] and the Source of Strength.

  • Lying is prohibited in Islam
  • Making fun of someone or something is haraam (forbidden) is Islam
  • Creates enmity, anger, depression, stress, anxiety, hatred, lack of trust, barriers, and etc

April Fools Day

References

Search for Islam http://searchforislam.com/

Muslims fooled by April Fool’s Day Internet Urban Legend http://www.themodernreligion.com/misc/hoax/april-fool.html

Sister Anisah of South Dakota  http://www.angelfire.com/sd/HIRU

It Appears That Muslims Are the Fools http://www.islamtoday.com

[1] According to the claims of the Christians, and they claim that this happened in the first week of April